Back in the swing of things...

Its been exactly 9 months since I last blogged....


SO much has gone on.
I ended up losing the baby in January, and it was really hard to go through. I thought Brennan had fixed all my "problems" but I was extremely let down when it happened again, for the 6th time.

I constantly said in my mind that this was the last time I was going to put my body & mind through this again. I didn't want to fight these battles anymore when all I did was end up losing.

But like I always say, time heals pain. Within time I was okay to start trying again.

Two cycles came and went, and I was discouraged, but tried to block it out of my mind and tried to enjoy life. We had BBQ's with friends and enjoyed some adult beverages. Life was good.

Work was good, Brennan was excelling in school, and everything was just flowing.

June 15th was any normal day for me at work.. But I just felt different. I went to the store that morning on my way to work, and bought a pregnancy test.. I honestly felt like it would be like any other day I had bought a pregnancy test and it would be negative... But I was wrong... I went into that bathroom stall, and waited... in my mind I was saying "please say yes" and it did..

I couldn't believe it so I had to go to the store and buy every brand they had on that isle, and take them
They all were positive.

I couldn't believe it. It was amazing and it felt so good to know I had another shot.
But in the back of my mind I was also terrified. I was scared to go through all the pain again.

But I knew that sometimes to get to the finish line we have to sweat it out, and sometimes it hurts, but we have to keep going..

So I did just that. I made all my necessary appts. I was so nervous to have my first ultrasound. I was so scared nothing would be there, or I would see a sac but no heartbeat.. Here goes nothing..

I made it into my room and my heart was pounding. I had wished so much that Matt could be there with me, (He was in Georgia for school) but I had to put on a brave face. Part of me was telling myself it was all going to end today, just to prepare myself for the worst.

But as soon as the doctor started the ultrasounds my fears were relieved for that day.
There was our tiny baby with a heart beating of 118bpm.

I was so happy and tears came to my eyes.

Fast forward, we had an ultrasound every 2 weeks and there was our baby thriving strong.

It felt so good to get past that 7 week mark that always came with such grave disappointment.
But I knew I wasn't out of the woods yet, and if I just followed those breadcrumbs I could actually make it out of them.

I had my 12 week ultrasound scheduled to check the baby for down syndrome.
This was really making me nauseous to think about because I hadn't seen the baby on ultrasound for almost 4 weeks.

My blood pressure was through the roof because I was so nervous. But the nurse came in and began the ultrasound, and my heart leaped with joy when I saw our beautiful BABY, not just a blob, but our BABY there with its heartbeating strong, and its limbs moving like crazy.

I knew then, everything would be okay.

I left that appt with my head held high. I knew I was going to be a mommy to two now, and you couldn't wipe that grin off my face.

I only had 4 weeks until we found out the sex. I had an inkling that it would be a boy, but everyone kept telling me I would have a girl.

Matt, Brennan & I made it to our ultrasound appt at and we were SO excited.
As soon as the tech put that ultrasound on my belly, this baby opened its legs and let us know exactly what it was..

Thats right! All BOY!
I was so excited to have another boy!

So happy to introduce to you readers. Kane James Forness

So now that I've caught you up.
I am almost 17 weeks, and am starting to feel Kane move.

Our family is so excited to have a new addition coming.
I feel great. Haven't had any morning sickness, or gained any weight yet.

I hope to keep you all updated with not only my pregnancy, but with family life as well.

Stay tuned, God Bless.

<3
Melis